MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS YOU CAN AND DON'T LOOK BACK

When it comes to making decisions about the health of your child, gather all the information you can, make the best decision for your reasons and don't look back. Your decision was the 'right' decision under the circumstances.
It's too easy to question yourself after the fact and think another decision would have been better.
Doing that is useless because you can't change your decisions and reverse time. There are no guarantees in life and all we can do is what we think is best at the time...and move forward from there.
I caught myself questioning my decision of allowing the surgeons to pressure me, for their reasons, to operate on my daughter when she was less than a day old. I knew beforehand they would have to operate at some point, but I didn't realize it would be so quickly.
I got a call from the surgical team when she was 15 hours old to allow them to operate and push her liver and bowel (omphalocele) back inside her tummy. They thought she was only going to be somewhat stable for a little while and they needed to act now.
I would rather them just do it and tell me about it afterwards because if she didn't make it I would never have forgiven myself.
Today at almost 5 years old she still has tummy issues, has a feeding tube and takes medications 3 times a day. So I question myself if I had said 'no' and forced the surgeons to let her grow a little more before operating that maybe she wouldn't have any issues at all today.
I try not to do that though because I understand it isn't helpful...onward.
So here's my point and I'm gonna stick to it.
Make the best decision you can for your child under the circumstances and look forward to the next 'right' decision in getting your child well.
And don't forget to keep smiling!

GET READY FOR THE WINTER FLU'S...

It's inevitable...winter is coming and colds and flu's are already knocking us down. They seem to go hand in hand but there are a few ways to help fight the winter sickness in your household.
There's regular washing of the hands, sneezing into your sleeve and not your hands, upping your vitamins...especially vitamin C...it definitely can't hurt. I give my little ones extra multivitamins just in case they miss something.
Getting the kids out into the fresh air is good for them, even if they're not feeling so well. It makes them feel better and tires them a little so they can sleep better. It also allows them to get away from some of the nasty bugs that may be lingering in enclosed spaces.
The flu shot is a good thing as the strains that go around now are much more potent than even 10 years ago.
If suspect your child has caught something you need to nip it in the bud. Make sure they are hydrated...juices are good, warm soups. If they're tummy is upset try some flat ginger ale. There are also electrolyte drinks at the pharmacy and even freezies, unfortunately my kids just don't favor them.
Make sure your medicine box is stalked BEFORE the season hits. Sucrets cough and sore throat tablets are great for kids. Cold and Flu medicine, stuff for fevers, dry cough, sinus issues, headaches...whatever seems to work for your children. And don't be afraid to use it, especially before bed. The least it will do is make them a little more comfortable so they can sleep better and SLEEPING is very important when fighting off the flu or a cold.
Putting them to bed an hour earlier certainly doesn't hurt.
Make sure you've got a humidifier for those nasty colds.
You can never seem to stay away from these winter constants but you can definitely take steps to shorten the duration and help your little ones feel better during the process.
Keep smiling cuz it looks good on you!

WHEN YOU ARE WORRIED, TALKING TO A STRANGER MIGHT HELP

Weirdly enough sometimes when I'm worried, talking to a stranger helps me put things into perspective.
For me I think that's less pressure. I'm not used to many people worrying about me...I'm the tough one...or maybe stubborn?...ha.
With my family I will automatically think about how I am causing them to worry and I don't feel good about that.
I also know that conversation will spread to other friends and family and having 25 people all trying to give me 25 different opinions on how to deal with things is counter productive with me.
In other words that would stress me out more than just worrying to myself about what's on my mind.
At Sick Kid's I found myself talking to strangers quite often about what Zarrah was going through at the time or about how I worried so much just before my kids had their yearly heart checks. Just talking to someone who didn't know me, only what I told them, gave me some sort of false sense of security...a release I guess because I didn't know these people except that they cared enough to listen.
It was a good thing and I know I'll do it again at some point.
It's also a 'one focus' conversation. A stranger isn't asking how your partner is coping or whether or not you got enough sleep last night and remembered to call Aunt Ally, Uncle Ken, Barbie and Peter.
Unknowingly a person that knows you well, especially close family, is like to give you questions like this that can cause you even more stress.
A stranger doesn't have all this information so they won't ask extra personal questions...that's just how it goes.
Now this doesn't work for some people because they only trust friends and family...and that's ok. To each his/her own.
So if you feel pressured like me sometimes when talking to your loved ones about your sick child, try talking with a stranger about it.
You'd be surprised how much better they can make you feel when you are close to hitting rock bottom.
At least you'll know what works for you...and that's what's important here. Doing whatever you need to make the best of an unpleasant situation.
Keep your head up and don't stop smiling.

YOUR UNBORN BABY IS SICK...GET SUPPORT NOW!

It's very tough to discover than your unborn child is going to need medical care at birth. Your happy, exciting thoughts of being pregnant turned stressful in the snap of your fingers.
It takes a lot out of you and once you've given yourself a little time to adjust to the news you need to make sure you have a support system in place. People to help you with the tough decisions you are about to face and even with the little things. like making dinner for you or picking up your other children from school.
You see I did not really set this up properly when I found out at 19 weeks that my little girl had a rare birth defect. I was afraid to ask people for help because I thought that meant I was weak...that I should be able to do it all...well I was wrong. I see now that it would have been less stressful if I asked people for help.
People offer to help because they want to...take them up on it. Look into the community to see what sorts of services can help you. It may take a little digging but you'd be surprised what you'll find.
Try and get everything into place before you have the baby, so that you can concentrate on getting your child well, nothing else.
Just something else I learned the hard way...not the smart way.

BE GLAD THINGS AREN'T WORSE...

Funny how every once in a while something happens to remind us that life is unpredictable. Everything can be fine one day and the next day with now warning..BAM..things are turned upside down or we have a 'close call.' It doesn't have to be a dramatic incident, sometimes the small ones get the message across loud and clear that we are often very lucky.
For me it was a call I got from my upset son babbling quietly about how he hurt his knee at a friends and didn't know what to do. That was enough for me to hop it the truck and peel over to his friends house as my son does not complain about much.
When I say the look on his face I knew that it was more than just a bump, cut, scrape or bruise.
His friends were all there telling me about a running game they were playing and Jarryd was racing across the yard and landed on a big metal stake..yikes! I cringed as I know how fast my kid runs...not many can catch him.
I acted neutral, although my heart was racing a bit, and gingerly pulled up his pant leg....ugh! He basically had a hole in his knee and I could see right into it...nasty. He really doesn't like attention so I pulled his pant leg down quickly and lifted him into the car. Then I scooter to see exactly what he landed on...whether it was rusty or not. It was in pretty good shape, a four pronged metal piece sticking about 6 inches out of the ground...I could see that a good 2 inches went into his knee. I made a mental note there was a little rust on the top and some green paint that could have come off.
Next I told one of the boys to go in and get a clean wet cloth to hold on it until I got him home. I ran into Caura (my daughter) biking on the way home and I told her to speed it up cuz I had to take Jarryd to emergency.
I loaded the monkeys in the car, got some ice for Jarryd's knee and headed to emergency.
The doctor was worried that he may had damaged his ligament because it was really deep. He did some tests and figured he did not, that would have been much more serious.
The doctor commented that he was likely about 1/8 th of an inch from hitting one...yikes...too close for comfort.
Because the wound was like a hole the doctor had to stitch across the top of it...back and forth to close most of it...one small space left open so it was less likely to tear.
Through this whole process Jarryd wasn't so worried about the pain, he was concerned that he had x-country finals next week and a hockey game tomorrow night. He didn't like the idea either that he was going to have to take antibiotics for 7 days..yuck!
He survived and looking back now I realize how lucky he was that things weren't worse. A smidgen further and he would have been off his leg for weeks, rather than just having to hobble through things for a couple days.
My point being we often focus on how something bad has happened rather than on how lucky we were that things weren't worse...much more positive don't you think??

ALLOW YOURSELF TO VENT

Life in general is crazy enough and when you are dealing with a sick child we sometimes forget or don't allow ourselves to vent.

For me I didn't allow myself to vent my emotions because I perceived that as weak...I was wrong. By letting your emotions out you prove your strength. You show that you understand what you need to do in order to keep your control and you are confident in yourself to release those emotions and step back up to the plate.

As alway I seem to learn lessons the hard way by keeping my feelings/worries/emotions pretty much to myself these past 5 and a half years , in regards to dealing with my Zarrah's serious health issues.

That was not the right way to do it because I never dealt with my strong emotions when they arose. I tried to be tough and being a little stubborn doesn't help. And now I've realized I have to go back to Day 1 and re-live things...so that I can deal with my emotions...because if I don't I will never be able to close that door and the wound will just keep on opening. And that is one of the worst feelings for me...not know when that caged emotion is going to pounce.

And as I am experiencing right now, it is much more difficult to let emotions go that have had time to fester...than to deal with the new, raw hurt immediately.

So don't be afraid to release your emotions when you are experiencing them. Why??? Because it's the right thing to do...

GET A SUPPORT SYSTEM IN PLACE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY

Something I've learned the past five years is to make sure you have a support system in place whether your child is sick or not. You just never know when an emergency is going to arise and it's much better to know you've got people you can count on regardless of the situation.
Whether you've got family nearby or friends you can count on, make sure you keep them in the loop of your life.
If you've got to leave fast you don't want to have to figure out who's going to watch your little ones and how to give the instructions as you scoot out the door. Have a little book that gives all of that information...that'll give you a piece of mind and allow you to concentrate on the matter at hand.
Make sure your kids are comfortable with more than one 'watcher.' You should have at least three different people that could step up to the plate at a moments notice.
Doing this will help to eliminate extra stresses in an unpredictable moment in time...

IS IT OKAY TO FIND HOPE IN SOMEONE ELSE'S TRAGEDY?

Do you think it's okay to gain strength from someone else's tragedy? It's a tough question but I think my answer is 'yes.' Kinda like being thankful for what we have.
When my daughter was at Sick Kid's and I was feeling sorry for myself I would make myself go see the other sick children...the one's that had little hope.
One little guy named Anthony was a cute little 16 month old waiting for a liver transplant. I used to sneak him out of his room for a ride down the hall while his mom took a break. This little guy was smiley like Zarrah and you would never know that his time was limited. He was weak and needed a liver soon or he was going to die...he ended up getting a liver but dying from complications.
Another named Elisa was in NICU with Zarrah. She was born prematurely, 23 weeks I think, and had heart complications because of this. Her parents weren't even there with her and her chance of surviving the night were slim.
I used dire situations like this to give me hope for Zarrah. Yes she was very sick but her odds were much better than a lot of the children fighting for their lives at Sick Kids. Zarrah's issues were surgical and in time should be fixed.
One little girl I became friends with was 3 years old, with long blond hair, sweet little smile but almost nothing to her. She was completely dependant on a feeding tube although there was no explanation for it her dad said. Relying on a feeding tube all the time eventually starts breaking your body down. She just wouldn't eat. And you can't force someone to eat...so sad. The only thing she would eat by mouth was popcorn..ha. Problem was it really mucked up her feeding tube. You can probably guess what I did??...Ha...I got her some popcorn and flushed out her feeding tube after for her dad. My reward?..A nice big smile that broke my heart.
So by understanding how seriously ill most of these children were I was able to gain strength for Zarrah. And I hope others used Zarrah's situation the same way...to get something positive out of it...