I remember the day I found out I was going to have my fourth child. After having 3 almost perfect pregnancies I was excited to be pregnant again, on top of the world is how I felt.
I took care of myself, exercised regularly, ate well, never gained more than 20 pounds and just felt good pretty much from start to finish.
I went in for my routine 18 week ultrasound and was even more estatic after my little one's got to actually see their new baby on the monitor, it made it real.
The week after was my regular checkup where I got to pee in the cup, blood pressure, weight and my doctor was going to tell me the sex.
I new something was wrong the minute my doctor walked into the room, it was the look in her eye's. She asked me how I was feeling and I didn't answer. I felt my heart pounding, my hands shaking and I asked her what was wrong. She said she was so sorry and that my baby had a rare birth defect...a large isolated omphalocele...My heart sank...it was just the beginning.
I understand the feeling of helplessness one has with this sort of news. It's devastating. You never know how you're going to react unless it happens to you. There's no 'right' way to deal with it, just to keep one foot in front of the other and try to think positively.
Give yourself time to adjust...your sense of disbelief and hurt will lessen.
I have recorded my story, Zarrah's Story, from Day 1...which we are still working through 5 almost 5 years later.
Just remember this...there is a reason for everything...you may not recognize it right now...but one day you will...and you'll smile...
Here's Miss Zarrah..you wouldn't know she fought for her life most of her first year and that her stomach shows the tales of her many surgeries..still happy..still smilin...
Check out my website for Zarrah's Story...a work in progress...ha...cathywilson05.com
Keep smilin..
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