Something I learned with having a sick baby was that it doesn't help to try make yourself react a certain way to unexpected emotional news. Everybody deals with things differently and you need to know it's ok to do what you need to.
Some people withdraw for a bit while they are processing the news, some get angry and voice their thoughts, others seek answers and talk with anyone that will listen, maybe you head to the gym and punch the bag for a few hours. There is no 'right' way to deal with things and try not let people make you feel guilty for 'your way' of coping.
When I first found out my unborn child was very sick I immediately started researching..anywhere I could find information on omphaloceles I searched, read, re-read and then read again. By arming myself with knowledge I felt I was gaining some control on a completely uncontrollable situation.
After this 'phase' was done I put my walls up. Right or wrong in my mind I felt that I didn't need to worry anybody else, me worrying was enough. Although in hindsight I see that caused people to worry more because they didn't understand how I was coping, if I was ok. I hid my pain pretty good and being stubborn didn't help!..sml
I made it through the tough stuff because I am tough. I did what I had to do at the time and hated questioning myself through the process. That in itself added stress, which of course I definitely didn't need.
Try not to feel bad if you snap at someone or just want to be left alone and say so. It's not your responsibility to worry about how other are going to feel. As harsh as that sounds they need to 'suck it up' and not take things personally.
You need to do whatever you need to survive...one foot in front of the other...one step at a time.
Believing even during the hardest times that everything will work out...and it will..sml
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